• The Dolly Llama
(Hat tip: “B-Squared”)
• Lawyer Joke du Jour
(Hat tip: “Ol’ Petrol Head”)
The Deaf Italian Bookkeeper
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000.00
His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place.
It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would not have to testify in court.
When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.
The Godfather tells the lawyer, “Ask him where the money is!
The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, Where’s the money?
Guido signs back, “I don’t know what you are talking about.” The lawyer tells the Godfather, “He says he doesn’t know what you are talking about.”
The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido’s head and says, “Ask him again or I’ll kill him!”
The lawyer signs to Guido, “He’ll kill you if you don’t tell him.”
Guido trembles and signs back, “OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno’s house”.
The Godfather asks the lawyer, “What did he say?”
The lawyer replies, “He says you don’t have the cojones to pull the trigger.”
Don’t you just love lawyers?
• Blonde Joke du Jour
She was SO blonde…
• She got stabbed in a shoot-out.
• She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
• She told me to meet her at the corner of ‘walk’ and ‘don’t walk’.
• She tried to put M&Ms in alphabetical order.
• She tried to drown a fish.
• She thought a quarterback was a refund.
• If you gave her a penny for intelligence, you’d get change back.
• They had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade.
• Under ‘education’ on her job application, she put ‘Hooked On Phonics.’
• She tripped over a cordless phone.
• She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
• At the bottom of the application where it says ‘sign here’, she put ‘Sagittarius.’
• If she spoke her mind, she’d probably be speechless.
• She studied for a blood test… and failed.
• She thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center.
• She thought Meow Mix was a record for cats.
• She thought she needed a ticket to get on Soul Train.
• She sold the car for gas money.
• Snark du Jour
• Groaner du Jour
• Why Women Live Longer Than Men
• How’s Your Day Going?
This Week’s Walmartian!
The Walmart Car Show
Shane – The Walmart Deli Clerk