Hat tip to “Joe P” for supplying the lead item today.
Why Parents Drink
A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to ‘Dad.’
With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.
It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.
I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.
But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it’ s not only the passion…Dad she’s pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy.
She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone.
We’ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.
In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so
Stacy can get better. She deserves it.
Don’t worry Dad. I’m 15 and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday I’m sure that we will be back to visit so that you can
get to know your grandchildren.
Love, Your Son John
PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Tommy’s house.
I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a Report card that’s in my center desk drawer.
Call me when it’s safe to come home.
• How Was Your Monday?
(Hat tip “Ol’ Petrol Head” for the series)
… which is closely related to …
• Why Women Live Longer Than Men
(With thanks to “B-Squared” for this continuing series)
We can also thank “B-Squared” for:
• Questionable Names
• Snark du Jour
• Groaner du Jour
• Blonde Joke du Jour – Where a Blonde puts freezer bags:
… which connects us to …
• Lawyer Joke du Jour
• Wedded Bliss
… which segues to …
• Red Neck Bar-b-que
… which brings us to …
• Morning Eggs, Hangover Style
… and NOW! Here comes …
This Week’s Walmartian!
The Walmart Car Show
Shane, the Walmart Deli Clerk
• Separated at Birth
• Good Question:
• Mexican Word of the Day
That’s all the damage we can do for this Friday, so …