'56 Packard Man

Hat tips to “Joe P” and “Dr. Mc” for today’s theme which also serves as our Lawyer Joke du Jour.
“Dr. Mc’s” father was a lawyer for the noted DC law firm of Dewey, Cheatham and Howe.

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000.00

His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place.

It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would not have to testify in court.

When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.

The Godfather tells the lawyer, “Ask him where the money is!”

The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, “Where’s the money?”

Guido signs back, “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

The lawyer tells the Godfather, “He says he doesn’t know what you are talking about.”
The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido’s head and says, “Ask him again or I’ll kill him!”

The lawyer signs to Guido, “He’ll kill you if you don’t tell him.”
Guido trembles and signs back, “OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno’s house.”

The Godfather asks the lawyer, “What did he say?”

The lawyer replies, “He says you don’t have the cojones to pull the trigger.”

Don’t you just love lawyers?

…  the Lawyer Joke du Jour is always followed by the  …
• Blonde Joke du Jour

… and that segues neatly into …

• This Week’s Walmartian

The Walmart Car Show

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• The Vacuum Cleaner Won’t Start
(Another tip of the hat to “Joe P”)

A retired guy sits around the house all day, so one day his wife says, “Ed, you could do something useful, like vacuum the house once a week.”

Ed gives it a moment’s thought and says: “Sure! Why not. Where’s the vacuum ?” Half an hour later, he comes into the kitchen to get some coffee.

His wife says, “I didn’t hear the vacuum running: I thought you were going to do the vacuuming ?”

Exasperated, Ed answers, “The stupid thing is broken: it won’t start. We need to buy a new one.”

Really ?” she says, “show me — it worked fine the last time.” So he shows her:

… in a related vein …
• Why Women Live Longer Than Men
(Hat tip to “B-Squared” for the continuing series.)

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• Typos

• Snark du Jour

… and on that note, it’s time to say …