Before we begin today’s festivities, we welcome all of our new readers!
Here’s a Who’s Who of the names you’ll see frequently here:

• Louis la Vache – was my nom de plume when I wrote a blog about France. There’s a whole story about how «Louis» came about. We’ll save that story for another day.

• ” ’56PackardMan” is the name I currently use because of my fondness of the last real Packard motorcars built, the ’56 models. The blog header displays a rotating series of photos of these magnificent cars. “Jerry Mander” is my alter-ego and a political junkie.

• “B-Squared” is retired and either summers in Florida and winters in Michigan or the other way around, I’m never sure which. In any case, he also retired from blogging but is a very frequent contributor of material used on this blog. The “B-Squared” is a play on his first and last names.

• “A. Nonymous” is, well anonymous and we’ll leave it at that …

• “Popcorn” shows classic films – real films, not digital images, and occasionally contributes.

• “Gordon K.” is active in the Studebaker Drivers Club and is a frequent contributor here.

• “Ol’ Petrol Head” hails from England and is another frequent contributor.

• “Cousin Mary” and “Uncle Jerry” are relatives of mine and of each other.

• “Dr. Mc”, a Neurologist, has a unique place here. When he retired from the Medical staff at Stanford University Hospital, we appointed him as this blog’s Official Staff Neurologist, a most prestigious and highly coveted position.

“Dr. Mc’s” wood burning Yugo limousine.

As “B-Squared” had retired his blog and no longer needed the wood burning Yugo limousine he had provided the staff of his blog, he graciously loaned the Yugo to us for “Dr. Mc’s” use. “Dr. Mc” is also our Official Resident Irishman.

• “Dr. Mc” is occasionally assisted by another Neurologist, “Dr. Kool-Aid.” “Dr. Kool-Aid” drank an overdose of the Obama Kool-Aid, but we are ever hopeful for his recovery.

• “Joe P.” is a long-time friend of “Dr. Mc” who did not partake of the toxic Obama Kool-Aid.

• “Chris-to-Fear” owns a ’55 Studebaker Champion, “Uncle Tilden,” a Studebaker pickup truck, a Studebaker Lark, and a ’60 Land Rover. Obviously  a “Gear Head,” he is a welcome contributor and often gives us or suggests material for our “Gear Head Tuesday” posts, and also contributes to our “Jerry Mander” and “Friday Funnies” posts.

Frequent commenters include:

G.P. Cox who posts the Pacific Paratrooper blog, which is of interest to any World War II history buff.

Jack posts his own blog, “Ships Log“

and “Parsnip” writes “Two Square Dogs.”

With that, we begin this week’s Funnies with a tip of the hat to “B-Squared” who contributed today’s theme which is also one for the “You Just Can’t Make This Stuff Up” file.

Talk about foot-in-mouth disease!
We hope Dr. McLean frequently washes his hands!

• It’s a bird! It’s a plane! …

• For you oddsmakers …
(Hat tip: “Cousin Mary”)

• WWLLTM
(Hat tip to “B-Squared” for the continuing series with contributions by others from time to time.)

• Separated at Birth – Congresswoman Maxine Waters Edition

• Mexican Word of the Day

• You know you’ve hit …

• Degrees of Blondeness
(Hat tip:”Cousin Mary”)

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.

She proudly says, ‘Go ahead, ask me, … I know ’em all.’

A friend says, ‘OK, what’s the capital of Wisconsin ?’

The blonde replies, ‘Oh, that’s easy .. it’s W.’

This Week’s Walmartian!

The Walmart Car Show

• Groaner du Jour

• Snark du Jour

• Why the South Lost the Civil War in One Photo
(Hat tip: “B-Squared”)

• A Tale of a Princess
(Hat tip: “Joe P.”)

Once upon a time there lived a King who had the most beautiful daughter.

But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt.

No matter what:
Metal
Wood
Stone
Anything she touched would melt.

Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.

The King despaired. What could he do to help his daughter?

He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the King,
‘If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured.’

The King was overjoyed and came up with a plan.

The next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an
object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the King’s wealth.

THREE YOUNG PRINCES TOOK UP THE CHALLENGE.

The first brought a sword of the finest steel.

But alas, when the Princess touched it, it melted.
The prince went away sadly
The second prince brought diamonds.
He thought diamonds are the hardest substance in the world and would not melt.
But alas, once the Princess touched them, they melted.

He too was sent away disappointed.

The third prince approached. He told the Princess,
‘Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there.’

The Princess did as she was told, though she turned red.

She felt some thing very hard. She held it in her hand.
And it did not melt!!!
The King was over joyed. Everybody in the kingdom was over joyed.

And the Prince married the Princess and they both lived happily ever after.

Question: What was in the Prince’s pants

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M&M’s of course! They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
What on earth were you thinking?
And now, in closing: