• Doncha Hate It When That Happens? (YJCMTSU File)
(Hat tip: “B-Squared”)

• WWLLTM

• Another Great Actor Who Wasted His Life on Drugs and Alcohol

• State Bird of Crazifornia

• Lawyer Joke du Jour
(Hat tip: “Dr. Mc”)

The United Way realized that it had never received a donation from the city’s most successful lawyer. So a United Way volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office.

The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, ‘Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don’t give a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like to give something back to your community
through the United Way?’

The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, ‘First, did your research also show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?’

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, ‘Uh… no, I didn’t know that.’
‘Secondly,’ says the lawyer, ‘my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children.’

The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology but is cut off again. ‘Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister’s husband died in dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children, one of whom is disabled and another that has learning disabilities requiring an array of private tutors?’

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, says, ‘I’m so sorry, I had no idea.’

And the lawyer says, ‘So… if I didn’t give any money to them, what makes you think I’d give any to you?

• Groaner du Jour

• Snark du Jour

• Missing Something?

• Wedded Bliss
(Hat tip: “Joe P.”)

… which brings us to …

• More News You Can Use:

• Separated at Birth

• Russian …

This Week’s Walmartian
Potty Humor Edition

The Walmart Car Show

And now, in closing, a double-header just for Steven Hayward: