Hat tip to “B-Squared” for today’s lead item.
“Dr. Mc’s” diagnosis:
Happy Birthday tomorrow to “Dr.Mc”, the Friday Funnies Staff Neurologist!
He turns 13! (8+5=13) He’s a teenager again!
“Dr. Mc’s” birthday brings us to:
More News You Can Use:
… which brings us to …
Q: What’s the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
A: Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
• Lawyer Joke du Jour
(The current series was contributed by “Dr. Mc”, whose father was lead counsel at the prestigious law firm of Dewey, Cheatham and Howe.)
All read from book called “Disorder in Court” and are things people actually said, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the responsibility of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
• Snark du Jour
• Blonde Joke du Jour
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs.
She asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex, and one was named Timex
Her friend said, ‘Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?’
‘HELLLOOOOOOO……,’ answered the blonde. ‘They’re watch dogs’!
• Mexican Word of the Day
I have a close friend who tells me he hates all comforters. Not just some. All.
Just so you know, I have counseled him to avoid making blanket statements such as that.
What do I get when I cross American literature with hard alcohol when I get home at night?
If your local zoo has a half man, half horse…
…would it not become an immediate centaur of attention?
• The Friday Funnies Food and Nutrition Corner
Even in a disaster, no one wants vegetarian-vegan “food”. A Houston supermarket during Hurricane Harvey proves the point. (Hat tip: “B-Squared”):
This Week’s Walmartian!
The Walmart Car Show
And now, in closing: