'56 Packard Man

This edition is dedicated to “B-Squared”, “Jack” and “Gordon K.” who all reside either part or full time in Floriduh …

• Floriduh. Yup.

MANATEE COUNTY, Florida  — A drunken driver was arrested after fleeing the scene of a crash, then doing “doughnuts” in the road past deputies, the Manatee County Sheriff’s Office said.

ST. AUGUSTINE, Florida — It wasn’t exactly the catch a Florida man was hoping for while fishing in the Atlantic Ocean. Instead, deputies say a drunken 22-year-old woman cursed at him before swimming up to his fishing line, biting it and swimming away with the rigging.

DEERFIELD BEACH, Fla.

15 Pounds of Frozen Italian Sausage Crashes on Florida Family’s Roof
Family wonders how mystery meat ended up there.

A South Florida family is perplexed after recently waking up to a loud thud, only to find that the mysterious sound was several packages of frozen Italian sausage.

“It was like thunder, and it awakened me out of a sleep,” Travis Adair said.

Adair said he and his family were awakened Saturday morning by a loud thud on the roof of their Deerfield Beach home.

“We got up, found two packages of sausage on our side yard, and then we were like, ‘OK, well, we got to go on the roof and check and see if we find more of this stuff,'” Austin Adair said.

Sure enough, there were three more packages of Italian pork sausage.

A total of 15 pounds of Italian sausage was found in bags marked William Land Service, a land-clearing company in Alabama.

The homeowners were baffled about how the sausage ended up on their roof, so their son, Austin Adair, called the company.

“I called them and the guy had no idea what I was talking about and probably thought I was crazy,” Austin Adair said.

He even sent them pictures of the sausage but has yet to hear back.

In the meantime, the family has been coming up with their own theories.

“I thought possibly it had fallen from a plane. I thought possibly it was something to do with a drug deal or something,” Austin Adair’s mother, Jennie Adair, said.

Whatever the reason, the family said they would really like to know.

“I would love to know what really happened, because it’s just so, so odd,” Jennie Adair said.

Mystery solved!

And The Lord said “Show me just one righteous family in Florida, that den of inequity”. The angel replied “Well, the Adairs are pretty good people, Lord”.
And The Lord said “Cool, I’ll just deliver them 15 pounds of sausage” and the angel rejoiced.

• Lawyer Joke du Jour

• Is everybody happy, happy, happy?!

• From the Files of Captain Obvious

… which brings us to …
• YJCMTSU

• Mexican Word of the Day

• WWLLTM

• Fun With Statues

Dennis the Menace

(Hat tip to “Dr. Mc” for this series.)

The delightful cartoon about a mischievous 5 1/2 year-old, was created by Hank Ketcham in 1951.

This Week’s Walmartian!

• Your Weekly Groaners Fix:

… next up … you’ll be happy to know that …
• Spring Is Just Around The Corner

• You must be French to park here:

• The Friday Funnies Food and Nutrition Corner

And now, in closing: