Hat tip to “B-Squared” for curating today’s funnies.
Turkey Day Groaners:
Q : If April showers bring May flowers what do May flowers bring?
A : Pilgrims!
Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?
A: It was the chicken’s day off.
I WARNED you these are groaners!
Q: Why do turkeys always go, “gobble, gobble”?
A: Because they never learned good table manners!
Q: What sound does a space turkey make?
A: Hubble, Hubble, Hubble.
Q: Why did the police arrest the turkey?
A: They suspected it of fowl play.
Q: Why did the Indian chief wear so many feathers?
A: To keep his wig warm.
Q: Why did they let the turkey join the band?
A: Because he had the drumsticks.
Q: What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian?
A: He had an arrow escape.
Asked to write a composition entitled,
“What I’m thankful for on Thanksgiving,”
a student wrote, “I am thankful that I’m not a turkey.”
A turkey farmer was always experimenting with breeding to perfect a better turkey. His family was fond of the leg portion for dinner and there were never enough legs for everyone.
After many frustrating attempts, the farmer was relating the results of his efforts to his friends at the general store get together. “Well I finally did it! I bred a turkey that has 6 legs!”
They all asked the farmer how it tasted.
“I don’t know” said the farmer. “I never could catch the darn thing!”
The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout. Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line.
When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, “You’re terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I’ll see to it that you get a huge bonus.”
“Forget the bonus,” the turkey said, “All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?”
Q: What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?
A: The turkey trot
Q: What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
A: Plymouth Rock
Q: Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving?
A: The turkey because he’s already stuffed!
Q: Why did the turkey play the drums in his band?
A: Because he already had drum sticks!
Q: What does Dracula call Thanksgiving?
Q: Why do pilgrims pants keep falling down?
A: Because their belt buckles are on their hats!
Q: How do you keep a turkey in suspense?
A: I’ll let you know next week.
Q: Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
A: The outside.
Q: Why can’t you take a turkey to church?
A: Because they use such fowl language.
• Thanksgiving Day Cooking Tip:
… And now, in closing: