'56 Packard Man

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There was a blonde at a soda vending machine in Vegas. She arrived there just before a business man who wanted to quench his thirst with a cold soft drink.

She opened her purse and put in 50 cents, studied the machine a short while, pushed the Diet Coke selection, and out came a Diet Coke. She placed it on a counter next to the machine.

Then she reached in her purse again and pulled out a dollar and inserted it in the machine. Studying the machine carefully, she pushed the button for Coke Classic and out came a Coke Classic and 50 cents change.

She immediately took the 50 cents and put it in the machine, studied it for a moment and pushed the Fanta Orange button. Out came a Fanta Orange. She placed them both on the counter next to the Diet Coke.

As she was reaching into her purse again, the business man, who’d been waiting patiently for several minutes by then, spoke up. “Excuse me, miss, but are you done yet?”

She looked at him and indignantly asked, “Well Duh! Can’t you see I’m still winning?”

• Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Wants to Know:

• Newspaper Clippings du Jour

• The Dating Scene:

… which segues neatly to:
• Good Morning from Floriduh:

Authorities say a Florida teen set his mother on fire with a Molotov cocktail and beat her with a baseball bat after she scolded him about sneaking out at night and using social media.

… In a similar vein we have:
• Wedded Bliss:

… which in turn links us to:

• Weather Report:

… They’ll blame it on “global warming”:

… next up:
• Great Moments In The History of Dinosaurs
(Hat tip: “Dr. Mc”)

This one is a repeat – but it’s an all-time favorite:

• WWLLTM

• YJCMTSU

• Dawgznkatz

• More News You Can Use:

… With that, we’ll close this Friday with: