Friday Funnies – Halloween Edition

Hedges in Ireland

Separated at Birth: Chucky and Schmucky

Hat tip: “Chris-to-Fear”:

Perspectives of world philosophers and other public figures on
the Great Pumpkin, for Halloween:

Michio Kaku: “The Great Pumpkin is a superstition without any evidence. String Theory is a brilliant theory that is too intellectually sophisticated to need evidence.”

Karl Marx: “The Great Pumpkin is the opiate of the masses that allows a few candy companies to alienate the labor of their workers. He is a cavity on the sharp tooth of historical progress.”

Derrida: “The Great Pumpkin is a construct without any construction worker to build him.”

Franklin Graham: “The Great Pumpkin is an idol that misleads children. I know because my religion is the only real truth.”

Head of the Orthodox Party of Israel: “The Great Pumpkin is an idol that misleads children. I know because my religion is the only real truth.”

Ayatollah of Iran: “The Great Pumpkin is an idol that misleads children. I know because my religion is the only real truth.”

Donald Trump: “The New York Times hates the Great Pumpkin because they are the enemies of the people and deserve to be in jail.”

Rose McGowan: “The refusal of the Great Pumpkin to denounce Donald Trump is evidence that he is one of those on the side of the patriarchy who deserve to be in jail.”

Kanye West: “The Great Pumpkin is deep man. He is, like, the salvation of our people man. Don’t tell me he ain’t real, bro!”

Vladimir Putin: “Great Pumpkin is western plot to steal candy from Motherland. We aim missile at Pumpkin and turn him to pumpkin pie.”

Chuck Norris: “I knocked the Great Pumpkin out in one kung fu move. You can watch it on ‘Walker Texas Ranger'”.

Voltaire: “I may not believe in the Great Pumpkin but I will defend to the death your right to disagree. Just as long as I am not up against Chuck Norris.”

CEO of candy store, Al Gulachenski: “If the Great Pumpkin does not sell more candy then he’s fired. Imaginary clowns can’t collect Unemployment. (If he’s a CEO he might get the golden parachute).”

Whoopi Goldberg: “I went out with the Great Pumpkin. I mean, he didn’t pay you know. He just kind of disappeared. Most guys these days are like that.”

Elon Musk: “The Great Pumpkin told me that I am the man to lead us to Mars. Honest guys. You can invest in it.”

Steven Pinker: “I’m too brilliant to believe in the Great Pumpkin. But I do believe in candy so in a way some might say I believe in the Great Pumpkin. It depends on perspective.”

Lucy from The Peanuts: “Hopefully the Great Pumpkin can teach Charlie Brown how to play a real game of football!”